Super Mario Brothers 666 Rom Hack Edition 69

One day while I was playing my brand new PS4 I felt the urge to go
and try to find games for my N64 because nostalgia lolol. I decided to
go down to the local Gamestop and try to find a copy of Super Mario Bros
because that was my favorite game to play when it first came out in
1849. So I threw my PS4 controller out the window of my apartment which
was on the 23rd floor and jumped out after it. I landed on the roof of
my car, rolled off, and then got into my car and drove to Gamestop.
So I got to Gamestop and smashed my car through the window. I was
ejected out of the seat and I barrel rolled right into the N64 section.
Among all the N64 games scattered about on the floor, I found one that
really stood out compared to the others. There was duct tape on the game
and somebody wrote in black sharpie "Super Mario Brothers 666 Rom Hack
Edition 69". Wow I couldn't believe that I had my hands on this super
ultra rare game that looked like it was 100% legit! I walked over to the
counter and gave it to the cashier, his name was Hank. Hank told me
that today was Free Day so I could just take the game. But before I
left, he gave me a balloon. Wow, what a nice guy Hank was. So anyways, I
barrel rolled right back into the driver's seat of my car and sped
away, hitting 5 cars on the way out of the parking lot.
I arrived back at my apartment and kicked down the door. I ran
over to my N64 and smashed the game into it. Now, this N64 was probably
the best thing I've ever purchased. Besides this one time a bought a
Maple Leaf Ham. God that was probably the best fucking ham I've ever had
in my life. Shit, I'm getting off track again. So anyways, the game
booted up and I was brought to a sooper legit looking title screen. At
the top it said the same thing that was on the duct tape. But instead,
the backdrop was colored... A BLOOD RED. Now that certainly sp00ked me,
but I decided to carry on thinking that it was just a mere glitch. I
started up the game and I was dropped into the normal looking Mario
world. But one thing that was super odd was that I was playing as MARFIO
not Mario!!?! Wow that really sp00ked me as well. But it was probably
just a glitch so I carried on. Suddenly I came across a pack of Goombas,
so MARFIO pulled out a shotgun and I killed 69 of them in rapid
succesion. But then a worried look came onto MARFIO's face and then he
shot himself in the face with a nerf gun and he died.
The screen cut to black and then a very distorted version of
"Allstar" by Smash Mouth started emitting from the speakers. Then it
showed a picture of Mario's face and he had HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD
POURING OUT OF HIS EYES!! I was so sp00ked that I shit myself. So after a
change of pants I went back to the game and it said in BLOOD RED COMIC
SANS under the picture of Mario "Your Spaghetti Is Mine". I was super
sp00ked. Did Hank from Gamestop do this? Nah, probably not. So I was
gonna take out the cartridge and destroy it like any other normal person
would do.. when I noticed that the words on the duct tape were gone and
were replaced by a picture of Hank's face with the words "I'm King Of
The Hill Bitch" underneath it.
I still wasn't sure if Hank had done it so I had an idea that
would prove my theory. I dived out the window I broke previously and
landed on top of my car again. I took out a butcher knife and I stabbed
the balloon. "Just as I suspected" I said while sniffing the air
"Propane..." then everything blew up. The End. Directed by Micheal Bay